« Aeon Flux | Main | Oh, and ... »
December 03, 2005
Strangers
I was watching people stream out of a subway car the other day and I didn't recognize anyone. Everyone was a complete stranger. This isn't surprising for a subway in a city of millions where everyone goes about their lives on their own erratic schedules; most trips are spent traveling with strangers. What had really occurred to me was how quickly any one of those unknown faces could become a known face. On any given day one of those strangers could start to become a friend. A lover. A rival. All it might take is an offhand comment which sparks a conversation. A smile for holding open a door. Just like that, a face could have a story attached. In a city full of strangers there is now someone else I know.
I'm amazed at how that works. Someone who a short time ago was unknown is now a person I know. Regardless of what becomes of the relationship that can't be taken away. Someone who at one time my eyes would just slide over now instinctively catch: I know you. I've met a lot of people in the past few years. Some have become friends, a few more than friends, most neither. A lot of them I would know as they stepped off the subway. And yet a very short time ago they were all strangers.
Posted by John at December 3, 2005 03:35 PM
Trackback Pings
TrackBack URL for this entry:
http://www.greyfence.com/blog/mt-tb.cgi/85
Comments
this is interesting. and true. it takes little for a connection to be established, i'm always surprised by how much people seem to be relieved when it is. seem to crave it. yet it's so hard to make that connection! simple enough gestures will do it, but we first have to open the door of our inner world, the place where we keep our secrets and our vulnerability, and that i think is what is so difficult to do.
Posted by: Elise at December 5, 2005 09:21 AM
It can be frightening to make the first move, that's for sure. You put your guts on the line without knowing how the other person feels. With some people I have an immediate connection and it's very comfortable as soon as that intial contact is made though. With other folks it's more difficult, but c'est la vie.
Isn't it human nature to crave connections with other people?
Posted by: John at December 5, 2005 02:07 PM
I'm sure it is. And if we were all in pristine condition, it would probably be easier than it is. But what with the various individual styles, the furballs of fear we gather from childhood on, and the differences in the kind of connection we actually seek... it can be quite the Rubik's Cube.
I hope you don't get fined cause I used a registered trademark on your blog :O(
Posted by: Elise at December 5, 2005 05:01 PM
>> I hope you don't get fined cause I used a registered trademark on your blog :O(
I'm sure they'll be happy for the free plug. ;)
Meanwhile, I'm stuck with the image of hacking up a furball of fear.
Posted by: John at December 5, 2005 05:13 PM
The way you describe it, it's amazing anybody ever connects at all. I, personally, have never managed to figure out the Rubik's Cube(tm) but I have managed to hold onto a friend or two ... maybe as much through the dumb luck of finding those people whose ying matched my yang as any other reason. But, over all I think most folks are pretty respectful of other peoples foibles and do accomodate them (if they want to).
And I still can't get the idea of a furball of fear out of my mind; it's definitely in the running for the quote of the year.
Posted by: John at December 5, 2005 10:26 PM
I do think relationships are tenuous, which is not to say that they're impossible or have no resilience. But, put under the microscope, their chemistry is awfully complex.
Yes, you can't choose to build superficial relationships; but don't be surprised if they crack open at the first problem.
Anyway, in real life things don't happen in an orderly, step-by-step fashion; we meet, we find commonalities, we hook up.
Posted by: Elise at December 6, 2005 09:27 AM