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August 22, 2005
Saturday surprise
So, the big thing I learned on Saturday was that I might be imperfect. I might have flaws. I know; I was just as shocked to hear about it as you no doubt are. Interestingly, areas I thought might be suspect (swallowing gum, jaywalking, actually believing things I see on CNN, etc) weren't mentioned whereas other areas of my life which I thought were quite fine are in fact crawling, seething with error. Right below my calm exterior lies something sinister and suspect, apparently. I may be the human equivalent of a Van Gogh painted on top of Dogs Playing Poker. Who knew. The important thing is that it was discovered in time. The world is safe.
Obviously, I'm going to have to pull out my receipt and call the Stepford company. At some point during production, errors obviously crept in. It could have something to do with solar flares. Perhaps my personality software runs on Windows and needs to be rebooted at critical times during dates. Flawed RAM might explain my tic's. Or chips from my brain were left too close to the microwave in the lunchroom during a popcorn break. Whatever the problem, if I'm going in for a retrofit, I'll definitely request, um, enhancements.
Posted by John at August 22, 2005 10:41 AM
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Comments
It sounds like you've had something of a traumatizing weekend! I hope you have a better week. ;)
Posted by: Kerry at August 22, 2005 10:45 AM
It does sound like it was horrible, doesn't it. ;)
I have to write stuff when I think of it or it's lost forever. And, boy, wouldn't that be a shame.
Posted by: John at August 22, 2005 11:02 AM
Does that mean it wasn't horrible? :) lol
I have a similar problem with writing things down... I was having the greatest conversation with myself in a public washroom on Saturday and couldn't wait until I got home so I could write down all of my elegant phrases and brilliant insights, but by the time I got a chance it just sounded like I was high on something. ...although that could merely be a symptom of the Electric Kool Aid Acid Test - I'm almost finished reading it.
Posted by: Kerry at August 22, 2005 11:25 AM
I read that post on your blog. I was going to suggest tattoo's on the insides of your eyelids as a possible solution to the projector problem.
And, other than one little 'glitch' it was a wonderful weekend!
Posted by: John at August 22, 2005 11:40 AM
Its hard to deal with the pain of getting an eyelash caught under my contact lenses never mind the idea of somone jamming a needle through the insides of my eyelids. ...although I guess it would solve the problem of having nothing to focus on... uh... or not.
Posted by: Kerry at August 22, 2005 12:00 PM